Research

There are two wars happening simultaneously when you are trying to raise a child with an alienating co-parent. The first war, in this case, is the legal war to meet the rights of all the parties. There are the rights of the two parents, and the best interest of the child or children, locking horns with everyone having a say in the fight but the children. On paper, the children are not permitted to know this war is going on. Generally, every divorce settlement has that stipulation written on it and signed by both parents. If they did so, there would be no second war, which is the war to keep the children safe. Thus, it is the first war, and the failure of the parents to protect the children from it which creates the dangers to the children's' well-being. Unfortunately, the signed agreement by both parents to protect the children from their legal fight can not be enforced in a court of law. It is a paradox. A mandatory declaration sworn under oath by every divorced parent, placed into the divorce agreement by the courts themselves after diligently determining that such a sworn statement is critical to the successful protection of children; but at the same time it is meaningless because it has no force of law.

In this section you will find resources for the two wars. In the Visitation fight, I have compiled resources to help in the first war: persuading the court to grant visitation that is best for the children. The second section contains resources to aid in keeping the child safe when you are losing the first war in court.

It is important to understand that both wars have the same goals when they are fought by a victim of restrictive gatekeeping, or parental alienation. The goal is to meet the best interest of the child, so they may thrive in society when they leave the home. With this in mind, it doesn't matter how many thousands of dollars you spend, how many crimes the other parent has committed, how much time has not been shared, or how many visits you have been granted. You have won when the child is no longer a child, and has overcome the dangers of the trauma and psychosis. So it is important to keep in mind that winning the first war in court will not guarantee that you win the second war, and that you can win the second war even if you loose the first. It is the second war that determines victory or defeat.